It was a hard decision to leave my position as Youth Worker at Rock of Ages, but God was leading me in every step. Some of you may have heard that I am going to Briercrest in Caronport, SK. For a while, I thought that was what God had in store for me this year, however, as this summer progressed, he made it clear that he had different plans for me; plans that have been in the works for years.
This story begins in my grade ten year, in the winter of 2005. I was picking someone up from a conference in Saskatoon. I wasn’t originally supposed to be there. I arrived at the tail end of the speaker’s talk, he was talking about being willing to go when and where God calls us. It moved my spirit and my heart responded. As I was praying, I heard an audible voice say to me, “Papua New Guinea.” I had no idea what that was, (I thought it was a state in the US) and after discovering there was no recent disaster that needed my 15 year old help, I put it on the backburner and simply remembered to remember that country.
Sometime in April, 2008, it was the last week before grad at CLBI. I was wrestling with returning for a second year, when I thought about it, it didn’t seem right. I began to pray about different options, one of them being YWAM. On Wednesday of that week, one of my friends approached me. “Ehjae! I’m going to YWAM!” It sparked a reminder for me to pray more fervently about whether that was God’s leading for me. So I asked God to give me a clear indication if and where I should go to YWAM. That Friday night, I ended up staying over at that friend’s house. While I slept, I had a dream that I was walking on the beach in Hawaii with my DTS classmates. I woke up the next morning frustrated. “Thanks God! There isn’t even a YWAM in Hawaii!” I had arranged to meet with a fellow classmate on Saturday, because we hadn’t hung out very much during our year at CLBI. As I was telling him about my frustrations, he almost laughed at me, “Ehjae, there is a YWAM in Hawaii.” With that, he dragged me to the school library and made me look it up on the computer.
There I discovered that there was a YWAM in Hawaii, in fact, there were two! Of course, my impatient heart looked up to God once again in frustration, how was I supposed to know which one? However, as I continued to peruse the two websites, something caught my eye and my heart skipped a beat. On the YWAM Maui page, there was a write-up about their recent outreach in the country of Papua New Guinea.
With that, I knew that if I were to go to YWAM, it would be in Maui. I asked God for a sign to show me that YWAM was in fact where he wanted me to go.
That night, I was packing up some of my things. As I was pulling out my t-shirts, I pulled one out that I had bought two weeks earlier and had yet to wear. It was a green t-shirt with the word “Hawaii” printed across the front. “I knew that was there, who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii?” God, please give me a sign that is extraordinary, something that couldn’t just be a coincidence.”
The next morning, driving home from church in Camrose, AB, the vehicle in front of us was a jeep… with a Hawaii license plate. From there, I began my process of applying for YWAM Maui.
That summer, I became very sick while travelling with CLBI’s summer teams. I actually came home early from teams and began going through test after test. Everything came up blank or negative. With those results, my doctor advised me to not go to YWAM, because we didn’t know what travelling to a foreign country on outreach would do to my immune system.
Disappointed, I looked up at God and asked him why he would keep me in Saskatoon after having made it seem so clear that I was supposed to go.
Well, the most amazing thing happened when I stayed in Saskatoon. I got involved at my church volunteering with my youth group. Eventually, I ended up working full-time with the students, and working at an amazing job with awesome people, shaping me and humbling me in God’s presence every day.
As time progressed, I felt that I needed training, I was inexperienced, young, and I wasn’t offering my best to the students because I didn’t know how to. I began to pursue training via long distance courses from Briercrest. As time went on, I spoke with Brian (the pastor at my church) and he suggested that I consider taking a break, or a sabbatical, to study. As I began to consider leaving for a short while, God began to push me and challenge me to trust him enough to leave in pursuit of full-time studies. I wrestled through it, and after a long time of prayer and restless nights, I decided to leap out and trust God, I resigned at Rock of Ages and put in my application for the Biblical Studies program at Briercrest.
The whole time after I resigned at Rock of Ages, I was uneasy. Something wasn’t right. I still wasn’t at peace, I was wrestling with something mentally, spiritually, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but my spirit wasn’t at peace. I began to remember that God had made it clear to me about YWAM, so I began trying to find places that offered summer DTS programs. That way I could attend Briercrest for a year, go to DTS in the summer and go back to Briercrest for second semester to continue my studies there.
Every summer, I work at a camp in southern Saskatchewan. On July 4th, 2010, I went to church in Shaunavon before camp began. That Sunday just happened to be the Sunday that my friend was preaching about his YWAM experience, and what he had learned at the program that he had just recently returned from. While he spoke, it sparked something in my heart; an urgency to go to YWAM, it reminded me of everything that had happened while I was praying for clarity from God years before. I began to pray fervently about whether YWAM Maui was what God desired for me. I prayed for clarity, I prayed for affirmation and peace.
After I returned from camp, I discovered in my emails that I was a recipient of a very generous scholarship at Briercrest. Here was the affirmation I had been praying for! However, it was not the affirmation I expected it to be. As I sat there reading that email over and over and over again, feeling uprooted and as if everything that was wrong rested on the fact that I was getting a scholarship, I knew that Briercrest was not where I was supposed to be. I wish I could explain why, because I know it seems crazy. It felt as though God was saying, “Ehjae, I can provide. You know in your heart where you desire to be, and where I desire you to be. If you go to Briercrest just because of this scholarship, you don’t trust that I will provide for you wherever you go in life.” So, I called my parents and told them what I had decided.
We met for lunch the next week to discuss details. As I walked up to the restaurant doors, parked right in front of the doors was a red Carerra with Hawaiian license plates. I stopped to stare for a few moments. I’m glad that it was a nice car, because that way, it was sort of normal for me to stare, walk around the car and kneel to be at eye level with the license plate.
After I got home from lunch, James came over. As he walked up to my house, I could only stare at him. He was wearing a green t-shirt with “Hawaii” printed across the front.
That day, I put in my application for YWAM Maui.
Today, I begin my journey... or continue it.. I am so excited to see this story continue. It's been such a testimony to God's faithfulness and his answer to prayer.
Notes about this story:
The girl from CLBI who told me she was going to YWAM didn't even go! Cool how God uses other people's stories to weave ours together..
CLBI= Canadian Lutheran Bible Institute. Located in Camrose, AB
YWAM= Youth With A Mission: an international volunteer organization with a main focus on training and giving people opportunities to demonstrate the love of Jesus to the whole world
DTS= Discipleship Training School, prerequisite for all other YWAM training programs. Some focus on particular areas of ministry or places in the world.
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